Oscar Pistorius, Janay Rice and Doug Guyatt: The complicated nature of Domestic Violence

by Stephen B.Chadwick, MA Counselling Psychology.
www.cowichancounselling.ca

Reeva Steenkamp & Oscar Pistorius (The Blade Runner)

With the announcement today of Oscar Pistorius' verdict in South Africa, (on September 11th, no less! )which is for the most part not guilty, however the courts are awaiting a hearing on "culpability",  many are reeling with the decision. It comes on the heels of no more than a week where Janay Rice, wife of yet another athlete, this time in America who "stood by her man" and yet has been criticized soundly and she in her turn has struck back.

Here in Canada, specifically, Victoria, in the province of British Columbia, The Victoria Colonist newspaper wrote today that a man by the name of Doug Guyatt, who murdered his wife by beheading years ago has finally died in jail.

It makes one wonder why some women "put up with this abuse" (almost) to the point of death. What is behind it? In a nutshell, "connection, relationship and history" and those who look from the outside cannot understand why the abusee does not simply leave. It is complicated. It is not black and white. And without minimizing, excusing, or condoning the violence, it is also useful to understand how sometimes it is hard to leave such relationships even when the individual KNOWS it is dysfunctional.